RED LETTERS

drip, drip
the words drip with doubt
the words drip with feeling

each stroke and crest cries
with every drop of ink
with every slanted curve

do you see it?
your hands are soaked in it
drenched in my tears
submerged in my iniquities

Red letters

It seems to be a tell-tale sign
bright as a lamp
clear as a kiss
Your face bares and brings
all the wonderful things
worth being missed
jagged and piercing
they break the panes
of the heart
shattered and broken
now falling apart
Is there no defense
against your sweet oppression?
No resistance from my conscious surrender?

There is only the dredging
of the bells of time
soft, silent acquiesce

WINTER TO END

Spring comes at Winter's end
only after the leaves start to fall

PAGBIGYAN NYO LANG AKO

pwede bang maginarte?
kahit sandali lang, kahit konting oras,
ayoko muna maging isang teacher na tinitingnan ng mga estudyante
ayoko muna maging isang anak na gumaganap ng posisyon sa pamilya
ayoko muna maging pastor, o lider, na nasa harapan ng madami
pwede bang lalaki lang ako?
pwede bang maging tao lang ako?

ang lungkot eh
ang sakit
magpapagal buong araw
ibibigay ang lakas sa iba
magpapahiwatig ng pag-ibig at sasalo ng mga problema
kailangan ngumiti kasi kailangan nila ng ngiti
ng lakas

maaari bang huwag nalang ako ngumiti?
o huwag magbigay ng lakas?
sa tingin nyo ba ay walang katapusan ang lakas ko?
hindi ako si Superman, eh kahit sya napapagod din
pwede bang ayoko buhatin ang mga pasakit nyo?
bakit ba kailangan ko malaman lahat ng problema nyo?
eh problema ko, eh luha ko,
sino dun? mayroon bang may alam?

hindi ko rin kaya noh
hindi ako malakas
hindi ako mabuti

ako'y mahina
ako'y naiyak

pareho tayo

I WANT TO SAY HOW IT FEELS

I want to say how it feels
how its much more like acid in my mouth rather than a distant memory
how it more similar to the blade of a knife than the bitterness of silence

it like this you see
when I remember you
when I remember us
I remember that there is no us
and there is no you
there is only a void
a void with the weight of a hundred waves slammed together
much more like the weight of a kiss never had or forgotten

I go back to touching your hand
when now I can't even have your voice
can't even have the dream of seeing your face

ah your face
I cannot find a beauty
a goodness
that will have enough to say about it
its like a cloud on a warm day
the leaves of a sheltering tree
or the wind that passes through them

and then there is no you
there is no us
only the pain of a memory revisited
a locked door with no key
no hinge
only solid walls, lengthy and firm

you are that wall
keeping me away as one would a stray dog
dirty and forgotten

its like the stars on a clear evening
bright and existing
yet a universe away

like a hair that passes through my fingers
soft and gentle
and then gone

that is how it feels
and more

SAYA

heto sa bahay nagiisa
walang kasama kundi ang alaala

BOW

SHAKEY'S

A lock for your heart
A key to your soul
slippers to find your way
to the ring that makes you whole